Feelin' Blue

   Sometimes life is not what you dreamed it would be,some of us strive for greatness,some for wealth,others just exist. I have been thinking about my existence and I always seem to beat myself up because I'm not as "religious" as others or as pristine (vain) as some or ambitious (greedy). I am Priscilla Irene Holt Ortiz with all the rough edges and raggedy seams and I am proud of the fact I had a Dad and Mom that were less than perfect but raised us to be proud of whatever we contributed as long as we did the best we could. I have been reminded of late of family members that have placed themselves on a very high pedestal along with their children because of their "religious" status and I am saddened that they disregard their own relatives while they are "fighting the good fight" to save the world,when family members are hurting and in need. I realize they chalk this distress up to the fact that these family members were not raised in the sheltered "Church" environment and are never going to be on the same level as they are due to this enlightened upbringing.  This is where they are wrong. Your good works are not going to get you anywhere as long as you are turning your back on your own. God expects you to lift them up and not judge anyone because of how they were or were not raised. They have souls and feelings and deserve to be ministered to as well as any lost soul you are allegedly seeking to bring to salvation.
   I was raised in a church background and heard the gospel preached by many a good man,as with all religions backed by man, they are going to fail in some way and so I chose the "no church"route and I must say it has been enlightening. Being raised around church people I know how superior they think they are,especially those with "the calling" on their life. Funny thing is,God speaks to all of us if we are listening.I have found through my years that a nobody,such as myself is more willing to pray for you than a "church person" They are to busy analyzing your faults and your inability to be a dedicated prayer warrior such as themselves. I think that is the key here,"themselves" . Most people associated with religion are very selfish if they have promoted themselves to the God Level that most seem to think they are at.People fail,they are imperfect and a church and a religious practice are not going to change that.It is easier for me to live for God outside of church because I know what goes on in church. Self righteous people with attitudes because they think they are above anyone that lives a normal life,by normal I mean being good to others,praying for others and being a good example all the time. It can be done without Church,trust me. I am more sensitive to others that struggle,church folk think you shouldn't be struggling if your living right.NOT TRUE! We all struggle,it is part of God's plan to make us stronger.If your not struggling you are not living! My struggles come from the cold hearted people that stand back and watch someone drowning and don't reach out to them because they have determined them to be beneath them "spiritually". Quote your Bible sciptures all you want,it means nothing if you cannot reach out to someone and understand their pain and pray for them ,not at them.
   I have relatives I respect and admire for their stand with God. They have overcome many adversities and been an inspiration to me and my family.I do not condemn them for their beliefs. I believe they care for my son and any of  the nieces and nephews,cousins,aunts,uncles regardless of their "religious standing", Their prayers would be enough but they have children and grandchildren that are of the "self-righteous" generation and cannot view life from a real prospective.We are sinners in their eyes and all they can do is shake their heads and be sorry for us because we did not get on the Jesus bus when they did. How sad. Being called of God does not mean you turn your back on your family.God does not judge us by the amount of religious time we spend in church.I am afraid he is very disappointed by the ones that hide behind the church because they have no compassion for the lost.Some people were not sheltered in a religious upbringing and have had to face life head on.Count your blessings and be more tolerant,that's what God would want you to do.